Friday, January 3, 2014

7 Quick Takes



1. I'm working on getting back into this whole blogging thing so I'm going to do my best doing Quick Takes again. Plus this is my third post this week, which may just be a record week for me. Anyways, enough bragging. Here going the quick-taking.
2. I've been on an interview break since before Thanksgiving which has been busy but nice. I did a lot of traveling around the midwest and spent a lot of time sitting in the car. I'm finally done with interviews though and I couldn't be more happy. I hate driving and being away and also the whole interview process. I do think I was pretty lucky when it came to how grueling of questions I was asked. Most of my interviews were pretty cordial, even pleasant and I only got asked one unbelievably uncomfortable question. (How do you feel about embryo adoption?)
My exact face when asked that.

3. We hit the 6 month mark yesterday! We're at the NIH approved age of viability!! Grow, little girl, grow! She's the size of an ear of corn/eggplant/papaya (depending on what app you prefer). Since I'm most familiar with corn I'm going that one. It's hard to believe she's actually going to be here soon!
4. Speaking of her actually being here, we're starting to look into the things we'll need when she's actually here. Oh my gosh ya'll! Having a baby is expensive!! Which of course I knew going in to this but dangit...it's still hard to swallow. We registered at Target this week and I couldn't get over it. A breast pump is $300! Fortunately I found out that my insurance will cover it (and if you're having a baby you should call and ask because this is getting more popular)!
Spending some time getting kicked by his little sister.
5. Another rude awakening I got today was how much daycare costs! I asked some moms I know who are in my hometown how much to expect. They all said they pay around $110-$140/week there. I live in the city so I bumped my expectations up to $200/week. Well I underestimated. I went and looked at our church's daycare today and for an infant just to get in the door (no diapers, no wipes, no food, no anything) was $240/week. That's almost $1000 per month!! How?!? How do people afford such madness? I can tell you one thing, if we end up moving for residency we will seriously be considering Steven being a stay at home dad (and maybe selling his rocking chairs to supplement the income).

6. Speaking of things that blow my mind when it comes to having a baby, Steven were discussing how our schedule would change once the baby was here. How much time did you add to your morning schedule after having a baby? An hour? (Please don't say more!)

7. Lastly, I want to ask you guys to remember a cathsorority sister in your prayers. Her husband was admitted to the hospital and is in very serious condition in the ICU. She and her family have been keeping a vigil at the hospital and updating everyone through Caring Bridge. Please keep them in your prayers.

9 comments:

  1. I think people would buy those rocking chairs, seriously. They looked adorable! And so do you. You'd never know from that picture you are 6 months along!

    Praying for Tony and family. I can't even imagine what they must be going through. :-(

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  2. You look great!! I've been off for two months for interviewing/boards...it's going to be a rude awakening Monday morning when I start advanced surgery, ha. I can't BELIEVE daycare is that much!! My Stephen is considering staying home for a bit too...

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  3. I remember wondering about scheduling and morning routine, etc when I was pregnant with my first. Once the baby is here, that question doesn't make any sense anymore because your entire routine 24h a day is so different . . . But I found it much more do-able than I had feared. I got pregnant with #1 at the end of my Internal Medicine residency, and 4+ yrs later are now expecting #3. My husband was a US Navy flight surgeon and is now a radiology resident. It's completely possible (and daycare in San Diego is $1600+ per month for an infant, so even worse!). Have you seen the blog "Mothers in Medicine?" Lots of different takes there, very worthwhile. But- on scheduling- rather than thinking of how much time the baby will take, think of the baby as taking all your time, and figure out how to efficiently do what you need to do around that. It'll all work out, and remember that babies change so quickly, so your "routine" at 3 mos is different than 6, 9, 12, etc. months.

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  4. We have an 18-month old and another little one due in April. The daycare morning routine takes a total of an hour: wake up little, make sippy cups and lunch, label sippy cups and lunch, feed little non-messy breakfast, change diaper/ put him into clothes, walk him to daycare, drop off lunch and milk, kiss goodbye, then off to work. You can shave maybe 15 minutes of that by preparing the lunch the night before or having him eat toast in stroller. Pick-up in the afternoon takes about 30 to 45 minutes, all mainly commute time. Expect that the baby bakes in about 2 hours of additional labor (separate from childcare and quality time with them) to your day. In the beginning pumping will take 4 hours of the day (though you can do that at work). At the same time, hubby and I have lots of time alone to relax in the evening. Also, if both parents split the tasks, it really doesn't feel overwhelming at all.
    And feel lucky!!! In our area (San Francisco) daycare runs about $2000 a month for an infant. Costs go down to about $1200 to $1400 once they're potty trained. Babies are awesome by the way -- they're not just theoretically awesome, but legitimately fun and hysterical to be around. So much joy! Congrats.

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  5. Lots of different takes there, very worthwhile. But- on scheduling- rather than thinking of how much time the baby will take, think of the baby as taking all your time, and figure out how to efficiently do what you need to do around that. Yes!! Babies are awesome by the way. They are not just theoretically awesome, but legitimately fun and hysterical to be around.

    Regards,
    Diaper Bags

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  6. You look great! So happy and excited for you guys.

    Have you heard of Nanny Sharing?? I hadn't... but my sister-in-law was just telling me about it. Basically, if you only need part time care, find other women who have babes that need part time care, as well. Then you hire a nanny that works for all of you, so it equals a full time job for the nanny. Make sense? For example, my SIL and her two friends hired one nanny, and she will watch each of the babes at different times. It is cheaper than daycare, apparently (they live in the Lawrence area, actually). They found the nanny on care.com, and really set up the system themselves. So, if you can find other people and a nanny that is willing do something like that, I think it's worth a try!

    Anyway, I hope that gives you another option. Good luck!

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  7. Wow our pregnancies are pretty much at the same place! Our due dates must be just days a part. Fun! :) I wish I could give any kind of advice about daycare costs… The only way I'm able to do it is to actually *work* at the daycare center. I don't know how people do it either. :-/ I know there are ways to get state assistance… Best of luck with the interviews!! I'd be glad to have them over with too.

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  8. If you can pack bags the night before, you just need to give yourself at least 30 minutes to pump or nurse in the morning (or both). Most of the time a newborn would sit in a bouncer or rock and play while you get dressed/do hair/etc.

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  9. An oldster jumping in here to offer (unasked for) advice. I work full time, breastfeed, and have four kids (those are the credentials :) ).

    1) You don't even need half the stuff they sell for babies. Diapers, wipes, car seat, some clothes, a few blankets, and a safe place to put baby while you go to the bathroom, baby nail clippers, thermometer. Maybe a few other things, but not many more.

    2) Your first baby is the most expensive. Every baby after the first is just marginal cost.

    3) If you think about how to work the baby into your schedule, you will make yourself miserable. Baby has her own schedule and you are just along for the ride. It will take you some time to figure out the new normal.

    4) Having a stay-at-home parent is an awesome option, in fact the best option. I think that if most people were honest about their bills and expenses, they would find that the "necessary" second income almost entirely goes to daycare, taxes, and costs associated with having a job or not having an adult at home managing the household. Do a completely honest budget with the one income and then with two and decide if that bit of extra money is worth the hassle. And realize the extra money comes at the non-financial expense of your child spending most of her waking hours with other people.

    5) My husband stays home with our children. This has been great and horrible. My job pays more than my husband would make so it was a no-brainer that he would stay home and I would work. It is great that our children have gotten to spend so much time with their father. They have close relationships and it is wonderful. But...the grip of motherhood is much stronger than I ever anticipated and the daily leaving of my children is like a dagger in my heart. The bond between a mother and her child is different in a way that cannot be understood until you are living it. It took me several years to figure out what was wrong with me. I want to quit my job. Yesterday, if possible. It isn't that I hate my job; I just love my children more. The catch is that my husband has been 'unemployed' for seven years now. Finding a job that will support a six-person household with a seven year employment gap is hard. I am stuck and will continue to be stuck for the time being and maybe stuck forever and it sucks badly. I only tell you this to warn you that after a few years, you may have an overwhelming desire to walk away from what you thought you always wanted to while away the days with your children. You don't want to put yourself in a position where being the one who cares for your children is almost impossible. Just something to think about...

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